As you know, it’s been a while since I’ve posted. I always thought I was mostly writing this blog for me, kind of as a therapeutic tool, but a few people I didn’t even know followed my blog have asked me why I have stopped doing it. Maybe people can see themselves; their own issues and experiences in my words, I really hope so.
I have had lots going on in the last few months. We have just bought our first home without the support of solicitors or agents so that was pretty stressful, this also meant going through every single one of our possessions and deciding whether they came with us, went to the tip or went into storage. The process took weeks and was highly stressful.
I have also had lots of changes, losses and things happening in my personal life that have added to the pressure.
I don’t mind admitting I fell back on some old habits and I realised how intrenched those habits were and are. Over this period I completely lost interest in cooking or eating nourishing food and ate a lot of takeaways.
Obviously I gained some weight over time, which I’m sure would have been more if it hadn’t been for the fact I was quite active and busy through most of it.
What did shock me was that old states of mind crept in, old behaviours around food and I lost control. It was shocking and upsetting because I (perhaps naively) thought I was past them and that I had fundamentally changed. It highlighted to me that my behaviours and thoughts around food are something that I am going to have to focus and work hard on for the rest of my life. A ‘normal’ healthy attitude towards food is never going to come naturally to me, I guess if it did I would have never got into the situation I did.
So, part of my making an effort and being conscious and awake around this issue is writing this blog. And so I am back.